Saturday, December 25, 2010
拼命的不让自己爱上你， 只因害怕当分手时会受伤。
没想到，后来真的分手时，还是受到伤害了。
伤害不是你造成的， 而是因自己在整个过秤中一直压抑下去的情感而造成的。
没想到，多年前在学校里的欺压会对我造成如此的阴影。
无论如何努力试着去摆脱都无法让自己去相信自己是可以得到幸福的。
对不起对你的不信任，虽知你一直为此感到难过，但我真的害怕。
现在后悔也太迟了。只希望你能真正的得到幸福。 你是一个很好的人。不要一直因家庭的约束而不让自己得到快乐和幸福。
谁能教教我如何不再每天哭着睡着啊？心里天天不安不快乐。
8:50 PM
Indecisive...
没想到，后来真的分手时，还是受到伤害了。
伤害不是你造成的， 而是因自己在整个过秤中一直压抑下去的情感而造成的。
没想到，多年前在学校里的欺压会对我造成如此的阴影。
无论如何努力试着去摆脱都无法让自己去相信自己是可以得到幸福的。
对不起对你的不信任，虽知你一直为此感到难过，但我真的害怕。
现在后悔也太迟了。只希望你能真正的得到幸福。 你是一个很好的人。不要一直因家庭的约束而不让自己得到快乐和幸福。
谁能教教我如何不再每天哭着睡着啊？心里天天不安不快乐。
8:50 PM
Indecisive...
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
25 Jul 2008 - 13 Dec 2010
Period where beautiful memories last. There comes a time when beautiful things will start and there will be a time when beautiful things will end.
Thank you for all the wonderful times and endless sacrifices made for me.
3:06 AM
Indecisive...
Period where beautiful memories last. There comes a time when beautiful things will start and there will be a time when beautiful things will end.
Thank you for all the wonderful times and endless sacrifices made for me.
3:06 AM
Indecisive...
Sunday, July 25, 2010
对不起。。 老让您为我担心
对不起。。 老让您为我难过
对不起。。 老让您为我哭泣
一千个亿万个对不起都弥补不了我对你着成的伤害。
一千个一万个对不起都不能代表我对你的歉意。
7:49 AM
Indecisive...
对不起。。 老让您为我难过
对不起。。 老让您为我哭泣
一千个亿万个对不起都弥补不了我对你着成的伤害。
一千个一万个对不起都不能代表我对你的歉意。
7:49 AM
Indecisive...
好无耐。。 好多说不出的害怕。。 好多说不出的恐慌。。好多说不出的原因。。
"近来好吗？" 这大该是人们长挂在嘴边的见面语吧。。
我好想好想回答。。 我非常的不好！！ 不知为何。。。 最近长长睡不好。。。 一晚上终起来好多次。。 不仅如此。。 还老做无理头的恶梦。。 不想让人为我担心。。 却好想好想有人在身边安抚我。。
是学校压力太大了吗？ 还是我快发神经了？或者我真被鬼缠身了呢？ 这些问题都每人能给我一个表准答案吧。。 那有何必说出去让人笑话呢？大该是我神经过敏了把。。
真希望能有一夜的好觉。。可能这样我就不会老乱发脾气或老无缘无故的哭了吧。。
真希望所有事能回到重前的简单快乐日子。。。 希望自己能别在胡思乱想了。。
7:23 AM
Indecisive...
"近来好吗？" 这大该是人们长挂在嘴边的见面语吧。。
我好想好想回答。。 我非常的不好！！ 不知为何。。。 最近长长睡不好。。。 一晚上终起来好多次。。 不仅如此。。 还老做无理头的恶梦。。 不想让人为我担心。。 却好想好想有人在身边安抚我。。
是学校压力太大了吗？ 还是我快发神经了？或者我真被鬼缠身了呢？ 这些问题都每人能给我一个表准答案吧。。 那有何必说出去让人笑话呢？大该是我神经过敏了把。。
真希望能有一夜的好觉。。可能这样我就不会老乱发脾气或老无缘无故的哭了吧。。
真希望所有事能回到重前的简单快乐日子。。。 希望自己能别在胡思乱想了。。
7:23 AM
Indecisive...
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
I have a strong temptation to hide in my own little world and never step back out again.
I'm so confused.... Is it due to hormones? Is it due to many other reasons? I don't know.
Sometimes it seems as if i try too hard to please everyone around me. I feel like a clown. Smiling even when i don't feel like it. There are enough things in everyone's lives to worry about, why should they worry about a small fry like me. I feel like crying, I feel like screaming, I feel like throwing a tantrum. But i'm still smiling.
Confidence.. Its something that i can try all my life to gain but would never have. One thing i can praise myself for.. I am a relatively good actor though.. I can seem really confident of what i'm doing. But.. never trust me... I don't even trust myself so don't trust me.
I don't even know what I want. I only know that i'm not happy.. Wishes to enclose myself in my self built walls and never have to put on another smiley faced mask.
8:57 AM
Indecisive...
I'm so confused.... Is it due to hormones? Is it due to many other reasons? I don't know.
Sometimes it seems as if i try too hard to please everyone around me. I feel like a clown. Smiling even when i don't feel like it. There are enough things in everyone's lives to worry about, why should they worry about a small fry like me. I feel like crying, I feel like screaming, I feel like throwing a tantrum. But i'm still smiling.
Confidence.. Its something that i can try all my life to gain but would never have. One thing i can praise myself for.. I am a relatively good actor though.. I can seem really confident of what i'm doing. But.. never trust me... I don't even trust myself so don't trust me.
I don't even know what I want. I only know that i'm not happy.. Wishes to enclose myself in my self built walls and never have to put on another smiley faced mask.
8:57 AM
Indecisive...
Monday, March 08, 2010
well.. think how much i "lurv" my nephew is veri well known...
budden recently.. i've decided to try and stop getting him in trouble.. as in scolding or rather screaming at him for non realistic reasons other den due to my temper..
erm.. but den hor... well.. i jus got him into trouble again on saturday and today.. haiz...
First, on sat. He actually peed on the seat cover and did not bother cleaning up.. Well, as ani normal adults would do.. my parents told him to clean up his mess using a piece of toilet paper. And as i tot wad usual ppl will do, just DO IT... budden stupid guy started crying like a DONKEY... and i mean it. as loud as a braying donkey. so... he got caned.
Den today... He actually threw the toilet roll into the toilet bowl and tried to flush it down. Common sense would tell u that the roll would get stuck right? well obviously, someone had no common sense. it got stuck and as usual i seem to be the one that always see his stupid things.. I called him into the toilet and rather sternly told him to throw it into the bin in the future. my mum walked in and asked him to pick up the roll from the toilet bowl and throw into the bin. and as usual the story repeats... boy starts braying like a donkey.. got scolded... continued to bray.. and den out comes the cane. this time round my dad got pissed w his braying and got involved. he screamed.. whole house tries to get my dad not to interfere.. if he interferes.. duno wad will happen. "Quick temper usually results in regretable actions" (Go figure).. out comes the cane.. duno got caned anort (hides in virtual world.. dun like all the screaming) and end result? Cry also have to pick up wad...
so moral of the story.. Jus do wad u are told.. Dun start braying for no good reason.. and.. U will b safe. Right?
Haiz.. Hopes some heavenly being would enlighten him soon and make him more sensible.. stop lying and doing such no common sense actions...
*I promise to continue trying to keep my temper in control and not scream at him*
6:47 AM
Indecisive...
budden recently.. i've decided to try and stop getting him in trouble.. as in scolding or rather screaming at him for non realistic reasons other den due to my temper..
erm.. but den hor... well.. i jus got him into trouble again on saturday and today.. haiz...
First, on sat. He actually peed on the seat cover and did not bother cleaning up.. Well, as ani normal adults would do.. my parents told him to clean up his mess using a piece of toilet paper. And as i tot wad usual ppl will do, just DO IT... budden stupid guy started crying like a DONKEY... and i mean it. as loud as a braying donkey. so... he got caned.
Den today... He actually threw the toilet roll into the toilet bowl and tried to flush it down. Common sense would tell u that the roll would get stuck right? well obviously, someone had no common sense. it got stuck and as usual i seem to be the one that always see his stupid things.. I called him into the toilet and rather sternly told him to throw it into the bin in the future. my mum walked in and asked him to pick up the roll from the toilet bowl and throw into the bin. and as usual the story repeats... boy starts braying like a donkey.. got scolded... continued to bray.. and den out comes the cane. this time round my dad got pissed w his braying and got involved. he screamed.. whole house tries to get my dad not to interfere.. if he interferes.. duno wad will happen. "Quick temper usually results in regretable actions" (Go figure).. out comes the cane.. duno got caned anort (hides in virtual world.. dun like all the screaming) and end result? Cry also have to pick up wad...
so moral of the story.. Jus do wad u are told.. Dun start braying for no good reason.. and.. U will b safe. Right?
Haiz.. Hopes some heavenly being would enlighten him soon and make him more sensible.. stop lying and doing such no common sense actions...
*I promise to continue trying to keep my temper in control and not scream at him*
6:47 AM
Indecisive...
Friday, January 01, 2010
Happy 2010 everyone!!! May all of you have a wonderful, blessed, happy and fulfilling new year ahead... =) May this new year be peaceful and have fewer major death toll events happening...
Its been a long long time since i've blogged.. hehe. Well should i say this is a good thing? no news means good news right? aniwae... jus a tiny update... I've stopped working and is starting school in a few days!!! Fear.... wad m i afraid of?? I'm afraid that after 2yrs of working n not studying... i'll take a very long time to catch back that momentum... also... I'm afraid that with the many many projects coming up... I m afraid that i might not be good enough to be of use to anyine in the project work... also... my choice of group partners might not be good? I duno... hopefully i'm lucky enough to get smart n friendly groupmates.. =)
Buts yays... its a new year and i'm very much looking forward to going back to school... I'm hoping to work realli hard n hopefully cross my fingers and toes.... Get good enough grades to be able to graduate with a good n useful degree.. =) Wads more!!! i wanna get my laptop by THIS YEAR!!!! hehez
lastly... resolution for the year...
1. Stop knocking and banging myself or anione around me... (promise to eileen @.@)
2. Get at least a 3.2 GPA when i graduate... (still an unknown factor... but den.. o well its good to dream big right?)
3. stop being such a bitch when i open my mouth... i've learnt to be quite a bitch during my working stint... :p had been bad mouthing lots of ppl.
ciao ppl. Happy new year... =)
12:12 AM
Indecisive...
Its been a long long time since i've blogged.. hehe. Well should i say this is a good thing? no news means good news right? aniwae... jus a tiny update... I've stopped working and is starting school in a few days!!! Fear.... wad m i afraid of?? I'm afraid that after 2yrs of working n not studying... i'll take a very long time to catch back that momentum... also... I'm afraid that with the many many projects coming up... I m afraid that i might not be good enough to be of use to anyine in the project work... also... my choice of group partners might not be good? I duno... hopefully i'm lucky enough to get smart n friendly groupmates.. =)
Buts yays... its a new year and i'm very much looking forward to going back to school... I'm hoping to work realli hard n hopefully cross my fingers and toes.... Get good enough grades to be able to graduate with a good n useful degree.. =) Wads more!!! i wanna get my laptop by THIS YEAR!!!! hehez
lastly... resolution for the year...
1. Stop knocking and banging myself or anione around me... (promise to eileen @.@)
2. Get at least a 3.2 GPA when i graduate... (still an unknown factor... but den.. o well its good to dream big right?)
3. stop being such a bitch when i open my mouth... i've learnt to be quite a bitch during my working stint... :p had been bad mouthing lots of ppl.
ciao ppl. Happy new year... =)
12:12 AM
Indecisive...
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
finally this little dispute has been all cleared and i thank you for taking time to think the problem through... Its as much my problem as it is yours and i truly believe that this will help prevent alot of future misunderstandings.
In order to prevent such problems from arising again... I promise to keep an appropriate distance from you and when needed i promised to be more civilised and tolerant. Lets just stop agonizing the middle man repeatedly before she goes crazy soon. =)
2:31 AM
Indecisive...
In order to prevent such problems from arising again... I promise to keep an appropriate distance from you and when needed i promised to be more civilised and tolerant. Lets just stop agonizing the middle man repeatedly before she goes crazy soon. =)
2:31 AM
Indecisive...
